Last night I dreamt that fist-fulls of plants came out of my hair; pulling easily from my scalp in the way last year's flowers pull out of the earth. In the dream I had woken up and gone into the bathroom where I saw unsightly whitish, papery blossoms in the mirror. At first there seemed to be only a few but then I noticed them everywhere, "Oh dear, this looks terrible, I can’t go out there like this”. I was pleased that the plants pulled away so easily but distressed that this dead stuff (though still green) was coming out of my head. I kept stuffing it in a plastic grocery bag to take to my doctor, surprised by how much there was.
It felt like a dream of impotency. I do have a lot of projects going on that I am making inadequate headway with. Class notes unwritten, galleries waiting for paintings, bills unpaid and dishes in the sink. I am very glad to have a full life but there doesn’t seem time to do the work. Even dropping paintings off across town has been a logistical impossibility this week.On the other had the important stuff does get done: there is time for wonderful walks to school with my son, family dinners, French class, Harry Potter and even a bit of painting on most days. Right now students are pulling in for painting class and the toilet seriously needs cleaning.