Daily Painting

I dremt that great clumps of plants came out of my head

Last night I dreamt that fist-fulls of plants came out of my hair; pulling easily from my scalp in the way last year's flowers pull out of the earth. In the dream I had woken up and gone into the bathroom where I saw unsightly whitish, papery blossoms in the mirror. At first there seemed to be only a few but then I noticed them everywhere, "Oh dear, this looks terrible, I can’t go out there like this”. I was pleased that the plants pulled away so easily but distressed that this dead stuff (though still green) was coming out of my head. I kept stuffing it in a plastic grocery bag to take to my doctor, surprised by how much there was.

It felt like a dream of impotency. I do have a lot of projects going on that I am making inadequate headway with. Class notes unwritten, galleries waiting for paintings, bills unpaid and dishes in the sink. I am very glad to have a full life but there doesn’t seem time to do the work. Even dropping paintings off across town has been a logistical impossibility this week.

On the other had the important stuff does get done: there is time for wonderful walks to school with my son, family dinners, French class, Harry Potter and even a bit of painting on most days. Right now students are pulling in for painting class and the toilet seriously needs cleaning.

 

Waterman and North Main

I just realized that a client has been waiting patiently for a print order she placed a month ago. Whoops. She ordered this one of Providence from Prospect Park so I thought I'd make another Providence sketch to send along with it for her good behavior.  From the intersection of Washington St. as it turns into Waterman St. and North Main in downtown Providence.

Peonies

I felt like a bridegroom carrying these over the threshold of my studio.  But I am disappointed in the painting.  I may add some tile work in the back ground.  24"x24".

Wrestling with the dark

Whistler I am not but I do give myself credit for trying something that feels impossible to pull off.  I'll keep working at some sort of harmonie du soir of my own.  24"x24", oil on canvas.  A smaller scale would help but for some reason I yearn to make large night paintings right this minute.  (I often work backwards going from big to small rather than the other way around.)  Marrakech.

Multi-Shirking

Today I diligently and completely avoided 4 (four!) commissions. You will be glad to know that I did, however, tidy up the studio, clean out files, test the new mini printer Elizabeth and I got for Moroccan Sketchbook, work on the 2013 PDF, double check the international carry on luggage standards, pack my swimsuit! (well, I was wandering around down there in the basement with the suitcase and the summer clothes handy so why not?), set up new studio lights, wash all the dishes, do another sketch of the Jardin Majorelle, and etc.  But I didnt do the work that has been on the top of my list for several weeks.  (I heard the term multi shirking from Martha Beck.)  Tomorrow is another day.  Maybe I will clean the fridge.

Right Before My Eyes

Some times it is very difficult to settle and work on something; my eyes move from one project to another in the studio and in a moment I have a clear picture of all that I want to do but only the tiniest fraction of time it would take to do it all in.  Then I am flooded with disappointment in all that I can't accomplish and my work time is up.  I battle furiously to get past the visions of what I would like to achieve in a particular hour (and a notion of magic time in which that hour might last a month) and just paint something.  This clementine mercifully delivered me from those other perseverations last night.

Splendid Pooch

A charming woman (who happens to have the most inspiring handwriting I have ever seen) asked me to memorialize this fine hound a few weeks ago.  Yesterday, finally!, I discovered that the angry spirits whove been guarding my easle had moved on to fret over something else.  whew.  (They seemed to have moved on to block my ability to ship packages.)

A Version of the Tar Baby

I am not sure how this relates but its a great quotation and they came to me together .

From Tricycle, Seeing Clearly

Our practice is to meet life exactly as it is and to notice whatever fear, anger, or doubt gets in the way of direct,intimate contact with this moment, bringing attention to that as well.  Rather than changing something or seeking to get somewhere we imagine we should be, practice is about seeing clearly exactly how things really are and how we relate to them.  Practice thus becomes an increasing intimacy with life just as it is, and there is nothing-including the idea that we should be getting something or somewhere-that is unworthy of the clear, nonjudgmental attention we call mindfulness.

-Douglas Phillips, "Q and A with Douglass Phillips"

Matisse in Morocco

Here's a little Matisse copy that coaxed me into the studio.  I am having the nasties otherwise, no playful sense of inquiry. Thank you Matisse.

Hammerheads

This is certainly not a commission.  I don't do commissioned work don't ask.  Forget it!

-"Um, excuse me, Margaret, calm down, what's the matter?"

I don't do commissions I can't !  The very instant- no, approximately 27 minutes after there is an expected outcome for a particular piece of work by a person other than myself my entire creative process screeches to a gear shattering halt.  A phenomenon so dramatic as to be comical-were it not for the painful shame I experience when reviewing, loop style, in my head, ad infinitum, the explanation to a friend of why I haven't done the painting I so enthusiastically agreed to do the year before.

"Okay, breathe, relax, maybe you should stay away from commissions."

"I intend to.  I don't.  Just now I am going to go make up a tiled courtyard in Sunny Marrakech or maybe a skyline-OH  have I invited you to my Painting Retreat in Morocco??  Its going to be absolutely fabulous!  An intimate art retreat sketching, tours, entertainment at luxurious Peacock Pavilions with co-teacher Elizabeth Hutchinson.  No art experience necessary.  There are flights for $1400 that will get you from the east coast of the US and Canada to Marrakech in 16 hours total travel time!

"Yes Margaret.  You have mentioned this several times.  Thank you."

Oh its nothing the pleasure is all mine.